I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
