i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize