erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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