the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
