I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
