We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
