He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
