this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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