Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
