My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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