I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
