Someone shit on the floor
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
