I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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