Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
