I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
