we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize
