He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
