my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize