i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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