i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
