oh god the rape fog is back!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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