Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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