I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A+ Viking dick
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