I wanna bring you to show and tell
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize