I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
