I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize