we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
