used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
