Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
