Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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