I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
