i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
