some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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