I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
