So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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