this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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