Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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