Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
