the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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