just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
