I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish you could order shots online.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
