well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
