O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
