I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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