Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
