we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
