Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
