Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
