I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
