Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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