Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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