Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
