I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
