I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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