we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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