Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
