we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
