we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
