well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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