I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
